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Authors: Lana Grant, Robyn Steward, Ella Tabb, Rachel Townson
What is key to forming meaningful relationships?
Rachel Townson
For me, a meaningful relationship is to having someone in my life that is willing to accept me as myself - the good the bad and the ugly. I am fortunate to have a group of people who accept me for who I am, but who also challenge me cognitively and emotionally. This helps to remove any internal doubts I may have that the relationships are token gestures.
I’ve had a number of toxic relationships with other people in the past. If I was to give my younger self any advice it would be to listen to my “gut”, and to observe the behaviour of others. In the past I’ve made friends with someone toxic for me, and I ignored my “gut” and other signs such as her telling me others had abandoned her in the past. I felt sorry for the person and ended up feeling like their slave where I masked and abandoned my own “self” to fit in with their expectations of me. I will not be down this path again.
Ella Tabb
For me a meaningful relationship is one in which there is trust, shared enjoyment and support. I think the key to forming meaningful relationships lies in three areas.
Firstly, shared special interests. Special interests are important to most people on the autistic spectrum. When you find someone with similar interests you always have something to talk about. This can lead to other, potentially more personal, areas of discussion.
Secondly, starting slowly. This can be hard for autistic people as we tend to be very direct, but in my experience, building rapport slowly leads to stronger, more meaningful relationships. Starting with small talk helps people to become comfortable talking about the bigger stuff.